It is for this reason that it is FUNDAMENTAL to advance in sanctification according to God, by the repentance of our sins to the Cross, but at the speed of God, because he knows ALL of us and NEVER puts the cart before the horse, if we let ourselves be guided by his Holy Spirit.
The important thing, therefore, is to seek communion with the Spirit of God at all times, in all places, in all circumstances, rather than acting by ourselves by depriving ourselves of life so that we can boast to be good, since, supposedly, we are no longer encountering sin.
There is another attitude that some adopt and that is not better, maybe worse in my opinion. These people seek humanly once more, which could have dominated over their souls and could still dominate, through a permanent introspection as well as for fear of having one day to recognize their acts marked with sinful. I do not know by what bad motives these people are then led, because these can be infinitely variable and good in their eyes because Satan knows how to bring a lot of lures. Our aim is not to discover it in order to judge them, let us say, for example, to give a better testimony of God than others. It would certainly be a form of rivalry, the aim of which would seem to be to glorify God by better human attitudes than those they have received, but let us pass. Most certainly, these people genuinely fight what they do not know, for fear of meeting him, for fear of being caught red-handed, for fear of the men who would then condemn them, why not, by the very fear of God, confusing Him then, with a Bogeyman.
God knows us AS WE ARE, we must trust Him. If we try to conquer impure spirits with a bad motive in the heart, it is not Him who will act, but always our own flesh, our old construction, our old guide. So what will happen to us then?
If we fight humanly, and take authority over any kind of "names", without waiting for the revelation of God, we will fight windmills like Don Quixote that we shall have become. We will not have to be surprised to live more and more difficulties, to see the others worse and worse, because the enemy will then act according to the boxes of matches hidden behind the fridge. However, Jesus will not be able to defend us, for we will not have agreed to fight according to the rules, trying in this way to avoid the cross, and the repentance of our own faults. It must be known that Satan at his highest level of disguise to simulate the dimension of the spirit of God, is also called the Angel of Light, and we will come back to it. So let's not tempt him, to make ourselves become even more to this image of himself, we might regret it one day.
God wants to reveal all things to us, not in our time so that we are taken for supermen but in His time. As we already saw in chapter eight, He wants to "deconstruct" the old building stone by stone to reconstruct it as a building according to Him. In this he will gradually shed light on our evil actions, in the order chosen by Him, and according to our willingness to let Him do it. He alone knows the order in which these "stones" intertwine in our subconscious; He alone will lead us in His ways.
The only good attitudes we can have are, on the one hand, to seek harmony and permanent communion with the Holy Spirit in the presence of God, not to mention prayer and sometimes fasting. (Let us make sure, however, that he is effectively led from God). On the other hand, to accept the Lord in all humility, to question our evil deeds without mortifying us, always reminding us that God is the God of the living and not of the dead, and that if we do not, neither desire nor strength to act, Him alone can give it to us.
As everyone has noticed on the little schema of the state of mind (or state of spirits), I have made two types of relationships between different unclean spirits, and those of God by the Holy Spirit. Those linked by ////////////// are opposites, although they are of course not limiting. They represent what we generally recognize as coming from God, but we are afraid of losing, for fear of falling into the opposite excess, and to be fooled. We believe, for example, that we have gone through great difficulty through falsehood, we will have the more fear of advancing in the truth.
Those which are connected by "equals" are still non-limiting examples, of those which we often will not want to lose, assimilating them to one another, and sincerely believing that we already possess them in God. Fear, for example, will often have helped us, especially to overcome temerity or rebellion, themselves to overcome the shyness. By timidity, we will not dare to act and when we will act, we will do it by temerity or rebellion. Fear will then limit our excesses and we will confuse it with the Wisdom of God.
Still in this same example, let's put at this place a woman at the wheel, reacting more or less by this type of construction. Shy she would not dare to drive, but by temerity she will. By rebellion, no doubt, she will not be complaisant to the priorities, and she will pass by temerity, but for fear of the gendarmes and the accident, she will think acting generally with wisdom, whereas it will be precisely this false wisdom which will hurt the stomach by stress. This fear, this false wisdom, not coming from God, will limit her not only at the wheel, but throughout the rest of her life, and especially when she would not want it. Perhaps she will better control it elsewhere, but perhaps also, this fear justly will come from elsewhere; this is the difficulty of acting humanely.
At the time of our conversion, the Lord will certainly leave us a time, so that we may become firm in His word, but a day will come when he will want to free us from this fear. If we do not accept that we are guided by fear, considering that this is wisdom, God will not be able to act, for He will never go against our will. On the other hand, we will implore Him eventually to withdraw from our life stresses which sometimes lead us to illness, even death if they are the source of an infarct.
The enemy of our souls knows how to lead us to refuse the true blessings of God, and just as he may try to make us believe that we are already filled in our example of wisdom, he can act at the opposite, causing it to be refused.
He will incontestably carry on the same purpose of making us disobey God, but will make us dread it as it was for me, confusing it then, with a kind of mortification, a kind of hypocrisy. That was my confusion, between the wisdom and behavior of those old ladies who went into big bigotry at Mass on Sunday.
I had almost two years of conversion, and for many days we had been in a very difficult ordeal of faith, when one day I suddenly capitulated. Contrite and in tears, I cried out to God in deep suffering: "Lord, give me faith, give me faith!" Twenty-four hours after I had asked for faith in God, I had not yet received it, and in my heart it was rather despair than the joy of living.
In these conditions, we had to make a small displacement of about a hundred kilometers. I was no longer driving at unbelievable speeds, but still very above the limitation. As usual, while rolling and although Marie-Claude was by my side, I prayed to God to show me how to act, to bless me, to fill my suffering. At one point I even went so far as to address semi-reproaches to the Lord. It was certainly I believe, only the conclusion of all my research to do His will, but also the finding of my powerlessness to be able to fulfill this said will. Addressing me then to God, I said to Him, "Listen, Lord, I want to, but when you are asked for something in your will, you give it. So I believe that nothing can be more in your will, than to give faith, to the one who asks it to you, to carry out your will ??? It is absolutely necessary that you tell me why Lord, you do not give it to me! "
At that the very moment, I perceived very clearly in my mind: "Take it! "
It was then as if I was seizing it, as if I grasped it instantly with a firm hand. I was founding myself suddenly overwhelmed with such a dose, that I then pushed a great "Phew of relief."
Contrary to what my previous behaviors would have been, I did not accelerate too much, it seems to me. Four to five kilometers further, while driving in a straight line on a flat portion, I caught up with two other vehicles, going at a very much lower speed than mine. I knew this road very well, and I knew that we were approaching a too long portion in my opinion, during which I could not pass.
I have already told you that I was driving on the road as in competition. It is quite obvious that in the race, any lack of appreciation is generally fatal, but also any trouble brought to another driver may be a cause of decommissioning.
The Lord obviously knew very well all my speeding, but also all my scruples at the slightest detail of driving on the road. So I was approaching these two vehicles, checking my reserves of speed and realized that I would certainly miss a few meters, in order to pass the two at the same time without crossing the white line at all. However, not risking anything in for the first vehicle, so I started to pass it. There, although I obviously had no more of power reserve, I let me go to ask myself again the question if I continued my maneuver or if I integrated an intermediate position between the two.
The more the meters went, the more I realized that there was actually nothing changed, compared to my initial appreciation, but then it came to me an answer to my questions: "Ah! And there again, I have faith. "
So I continued my passing, but as of course, I was biting the white line! It was only one or two meters, but it was much more than enough to challenge me strongly.
It was then that I perceived as clearly as the first word God had given me: "Ask me wisdom and I will give you faith."
The Lord also made me understand that my faith was in reality only temerity. I therefore confounded temerity and faith. I can assure you that, given the material difficulties we were experiencing, I hastened to say, "Lord, Lord, give me wisdom."
I will make one still small comment on this, because on the Sunday before, we had had a most explicit message on the part of our pastor, on the need to ask the Lord the wisdom. I had then categorically refused the interest of such a message, and that had did only increased a disagreement that already existed between Marie-Claude and me.
On the second time, not only did I ask God for it, but I hastened to seek its application, at least I hope so.
So to return to my confusion to accept wisdom or not, in order to hold me a little more in "leash," the enemy had fooled me since my childhood to make me confuse the attitude of these old ladies and wisdom, making me so refuse it on my own initiative, and thus forbidding God to give it to me.
Everyone is subject to this kind of fraud of the enemy. It is for this reason that between two men, and even more so among Christians, we do not understand each other. Let us thus know how to lead the good fight! God wants to open us the eyes toward all these various little traps of the enemy in which we have all fallen, and which encumber our lives. Whether we are sweepers, maneuvers or high dignitaries of the state, no one has ever escaped to this, except Jesus, who so happens to be the path of truth and life to God our Father. There are no others!
Freedom is at the end of the road and the path is called: SANCTIFICATION!
